Faux Pas

(from here)
For the uninitiated, uninterested or just plain out of practice, here's the 411: dating is awkward, like real awkward. In fact the only way to make it more awkward than it is naturally is to commit a fashion faux pas.

I know, I know, you're all shocked- "but you're usually so put together!" you cry.
True, like right now as I'm wearing harem pants with a toothpaste stain and an oversized t-..yeah, okay never mind, you didn't even pretend to believe that.

This latest fashion faux pas though happened while actually trying. You see, last night I went to a green light party and (gasp)wore green. Pause for those confused- a green light party is a morphed version of the college stop light party, where you pick the people you want to talk with (aka go home with/date) based on what color they're wearing. Green means single, Red taken, and yellow equals hanging out/seeing/whathaveyou with someone else but there to browse if something good comes along. Green light parties cut to the chase and only invite singles, letting them mingle while not being gawked at by those in red, excited to see singles in their natural habitat.

Anyway, I was told by a friend (who is actually a steller dresser, not a me steller dresser) to wear green since this is what you do. Only problem: NO ONE else got that memo...except for the two friends I was meeting. Meaning when we stood next to each other we formed the teal trio (okay so it wasn't actually green, but trust me: we were the only ones in the bar wearing anything remotely from the green family). Awkward turtle.

So what's a girl to do? In this case lie ("what? what party?? I'm just meeting a friend!" yep did that) and drink a beer or two until you get drunk on power (power people, not hops), then flirt with everything you meet. Course after walking away with a few numbers I then have to enter in the land of awkward texting. But that's another post for another day.