My stomach growls at work. Like a lot. And in an open cube environment this is a bit embarressing, because though I try to cover it with a cough or chair shift I still sound like a dying radiator. It's as awkward as it sounds.
I've been trying to figure out what's up with this. The only clues I have are:
1. This is a new development, as in since this job started.
and 2. It also only happens while at work.
Apparently my stomach hates being forced to sit for eight hours a day and has decided to, loudly, express its displeasure. Jackass.
But today there was a break through! Though not a good one: it's the coffee. Lately I've been on a tea only diet, but today went back to the hard stuff. Immediately the growls started up and the coworkers looks began (well I imagine, I keep my head down and pretend it's my printer. File that under Not Fooling Anyone).
Not sure what else to do I quickly do what I always do when the growls start: e-mail someone to tell them about it(trust me it helps). Except this time I used old English to express my feelings. Woe is me! Whatever shalist I do?? Growls immediately stop. BAM problem solved. I just have to speak like I'm stuck in the 18th century and there will be no more tummy growls. The coworkers looks might continue, or even increase, but you know, win some lose some.
from here
Also worst Starbucks upsell ever:
me: I'll have a tall drip.
her: are you sure you don't want a grande mocha instead???
me: ... no.
Wow, the Starbucks up-sell really got me. Hysterical and sadly reminiscent of my up-selling ability :)
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